Kids and Swearing
“Mom, what’s your favorite kind of fart?”
Bahahaha! This is the conversation of boy moms everywhere, right?! Maybe that is a sexist remark. I think girls talk about farts too.
“The ones that don’t smell. No, wait! The whoopie cushion fart!” Just a couple of weeks ago one of the boys received two whoopie cushions…
Just a couple of weeks ago one of the boys received two whoopie cushions for his birthday and the whole family had been playing with them. I never thought the almost-40 version of me would love whoopie cushions.
The next question caught me off guard though….
“Mom, what’s your favorite bad word?”
“Umm, I don’t have one. I try not to use them.”
This is no lie. I have been trying to take curse words out of my vocabulary since I started teaching high schoolers back in 2010, and that just continued once I had little ones at home with me all day.
Then, wait for it….
“I know what the Sh- word is.”
Inward cringing…what?!
“You do? What is it?”
Please don’t say shit!
“Shut up.”
Insert momentary sigh of relief.
Have you – the person reading this moment from my very enlightening van ride – had this same conversation with your child?!
Then he went on to inform me that even I said that sometimes.
Ugh!
“I know I have said that Jesse, but I shouldn’t. I need to work on controlling my frustration. Maybe start counting to ten before I blurt that out.”
When I looked back in the mirror, I could see his mind working, his brow furrowed and thinking.
The F-word
Now flash forward a few weeks.
The five- and seven-year-old were in the kitchen with me.
Maybe I was doing dishes.
Maybe they were watching ridiculous videos on YouTube Kids.
All I really remember is the older boy bringing up the F-word.
What the heck?!
Sam of course asked, “what’s the F-word?”
Knee-jerk response – “We don’t say that word.”
“Johnny said he’s allowed to say it at home.”
“Well, we don’t say it in our house Jesse.”
Sam isn’t deterred… he asks again.
“What’s the F-word? Is it toilet? Is it stupid? Is it poop? Is it idiot?”
Oh, dear goodness. His little eyes look at me with such sincere concern.
Ahh! Part of me wants to laugh while the other part of me wants to point out that none of these starts with ‘f’ and so cannot be the F-word! But instead, I look at our seven-year-old and, with a face that is as stern as I can muster, tell him to stop talking about it.
It’s like the Santa conversation all over again; how has only two years opened my oldest boy’s eyes so much?
So, what do I do when my kids start swearing?
Do I laugh it off and move on?
Am I worrying about a trivial parenting issue?
Call me old-fashioned, but I felt a tug when I read a verse from the book of Luke just the other morning.
“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” (Luke 6:45)
I want to teach my boys that our words are just a mirror into our hearts and minds.
Instead of talking about our favorite bad words, I want us talking about our favorite good words…if there is such a thing.
I want, I pray, that my family is filled with an awe of natural beauty, an appreciation for our provisions, and a yearning for the goodness that comes from God. Then, don’t you think the words that begin in our minds and tumble out of our mouths will be far from the swear words that seem so appealing and interesting to my kids now?
So how do I do that?!
NATURAL BEAUTY
We are kind of obsessed with the ducks and geese who have started coming to our pond. We can see it from the kitchen window and Jesse’s room and yell out to each other whenever the birds make an appearance.
So, what do you think this made me think about doing?
Search Amazon – like you do too, right – for how to teach kids about nature. A beautiful book titled How to Teach Nature Journaling: Curiosity, Wonder, Attentionby John Muir Laws. If we spend our time focusing on the gorgeous birds right outside our window, then our minds will be focused on that, and our words will mirror those ideas, don’t ya think?!
APPRECIATION FOR PROVISIONS
Okay, so my first search on Amazon has me looking at all kinds of books that are about to be in my cart. Ha. We might need to head over to our library so that I don’t end up spending big bucks. 😉 My eldest is a self-proclaimed ninja since he started taking karate. Have you heard of the Ninja Life Hacks books by Mary Nhin?! The woman has several sets of books – including one on gratitude!
GOODNESS FROM GOD
Sam, the five year old, and I have started doing something each night during snuggles. We both thank God for one thing and then ask Him for help with one thing. Sam always ends up telling me what he said to God, and sometimes it is the best part of the day for me. In those moments I am trying to get him focused on the amazing blessings that we have – the parts of our lives that are so much better than the new toy he got at Target or the candy his teacher doled out. But really, toys and candy are the highlights of your kids’ lives too, right? Just kidding… sort of.
Did your thoughts start to race when you faced the parenting moment of first-uttered curse words? I would love to hear what you thought and did about it. Please share any helpful books or conversation starters with me.
I am a blessed mum, because of the Word I get to read each day, but hearing encouragement from others would just push my cup to overflowing.